The Finer Things in Life

Who thought that basketball - fourth grade basketball - would fall under a headline like "The Finer Things in Life...."

I have had the privilege of witnessing my daughter's growth - both on and off the court - for the past several months. There is nothing more satisfying than watching your child sharpen her skills. Develop confidence. Experience the value of being a member of a team - a tribe, if you will. Exuding passion that most adults cannot fathom. It's been truly refreshing and inspiring.

Her tenacious spirit is contagious. She keeps me grounded - reminds me what the finer things in life truly are.

Apples + Trees

How does that saying go - "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Indeed, I have found this to be true with my two "apples." Their sharp minds and quick wit never cease to amaze me. And, it typically tends to amuse me.

Apparently there is no such thing as aging gracefully - not in this house.
Sidney: "Mommy, what are those lines by Daddy's eyes when he laughs?"
Me: The lines by his eyes?
Sidney: "Yea, you know...when he smiles or laughs they show up here." (she points to the outside of her eyes as she squints and smiles in the mirror to demonstrate.)
Me: Ahh, those. We call those crow's feet, Sidney.
Sidney: "Daddy sure has a lot of 'the' crow's feet on his face. And you have a few too."
Me: Top of the morning to you too, Sidney.


My words are used against my by my little man...say it ain't so!
Ashton: "Mommy, will you get me some peanut butter?"
Me: No. I'm busy doing your laundry. Would you like to do your laundry while I get your peanut butter?
Ashton: "No, Mommy."
With a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face he says, "I'm just a baby, Mommy. We don't do laundry."
Me: Touche. But, you're getting your own peanut butter.

Funny how these kids have become such smart asses at such a young age. I'll take it though. My spirited children.

Sidneyisms

Sidney just bought a book of animal facts from her school book fair. Apparently this was a good purchase.
Sidney: Did you know that horn toads shoot blood from their eyes? Did you know that flounder have eyes on the side of their heads? Did you know that flies lay up to 250 eggs per day? 
Ashton & I: horrified looks on our faces
...Sidney, the walking encyclopedia.

Sidney has started playing basketball and on game day before I knew what I was saying, I was cheering her on by her nickname. Boo-boo.
Me: Yes, I called you Boo-boo while you were playing basketball.
Sidney: Mom, don't do that again. You're embarrassing. 
...I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it would be this soon!

We were sitting at the dinner table and going through the pile of mail. I opened a card from my Dad that contained "Christmas cash." Sidney's eyes nearly popped out of her head.
Sidney: Mom, what are we going to buy with that money.
Me: We aren't going to buy anything with this money.
Sidney: Dad, you could take this money and buy Mom a real pair of UGGs instead  of the ones you bought her last year that were made in China.
...thank you for the laugh. For allocating my Christmas present to what you think I need. But, most importantly, thank you for the unedited conversation that you bring to the dinner table every night.

"The Blessing"

Sidney and I were settling in for the night, Diary of the Wimpy Kid, Rodrick Rules was on tap.  Bed time is always a good time.  It's like herding cats.  "Five more minutes."  "I need water."  "I need to go to the bathroom."  "Turn on my music."  "Shut my closet."  ...the stall tactics go on and on. 

As I was working through the routine with Sidney, she started mimicking me and said, "I'm going to mouth sync everything you say."  I looked at her puzzled and said, "What?  Your going to mouth sync what I say?"  She said, "Yes, mouth sync."  Apparently I was the one with the issue because she knew exactly what she was talking about.  I, however, was clueless.  "Sidney, I have no idea what you are talking about.  I don't know what 'mouth sync' means."  "Mouth sync, Mom.  You know how people sing on stage and someone is playing their music but they aren't really singing?"  Ah, the lightbulb finally went off in my head!  "LIP SYNC!  You mean lip sync, Sidney."  "Yes, limp sync."  "It's not 'limp' sync, it's lip sync."  "Right, limp sync, Sidney said."

With each verbal transaction the volume continued to increase.  "Sidney, it's LIP SYNC!  NOT LIMP SYNC."  By now, she's annoyed and I just want to read the book so we can call it a night.  She looked at me frustrated and annoyed, pointed to her lips and yelled, "THE BLESSING!"  There was an eruption of laughter...I could not control myself.  I was nearly hysterical laughing which is contagious.  We were both laughing uncontrollably. 

For those of you who are scratching your head wondering what's so funny, go watch National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.  Specially the part where Uncle Lewis yells "THE BLESSING" at Aunt Bethany!  Now, Sidney has never seen this movie, but on more than one occassion has heard us say (complete with hand motions) "THE BLESSING!" 

Watch "THE BLESSING" here

Oh, these kids of mine.  My source of constant entertainment.

My Beautiful Birthday Girl

My greatest surprise in life turned greatest joy, Sidney, turned 8 this weekend.  Mother's Day to be exact.  She's such a ball of energy, full of passion, a creative little mind.  She's perfect. 

You'll remember that her birthday cake was to be the coolest thing since sliced bread - it's Wheel of Fortune, how could it not be?  When we arrived at the bakery she was filled with anticipation to lift the lid on this sweet, creative treat.  What she saw was nothing less than a total rockin' cake!  ...especially for a Wheel Watcher!

Yes, it's definitely a famous event...the 8th birthday of Sidney Noelle Marshall, aka: super Diva!

While she had a massive headache that kept her down most of the day, the drugs kicked in just in time for presents and cake.  (Although she still hasn't had any of this cake)  It was kind of sad, anti-climatic and disappointing that she has been looking forward to this day since the day after her last birthday only to be miserable on the day of her big event.  Most of her time was spent on the couch while her friends took over the playroom, and her brother heisted one of her Nerf dart guns. 

She watched most of it unfold, tried to participate in as much as she could, but overall did not enjoy her birthday party like an eight year old should.  She certainly needs a re-do! 

Lucky for her, her momma is a firm believer in the idea of a birthday month!  We'll take the new Schwinn for a spin, have a hunk of the Wheel cake and party like the rockstar she is!

Cake

Sidney is turning 8 next weekend and I can hardly believe it.  It doesn't seem that long ago that we brought our Tarheel home from the hospital.  Or, that we were celebrating her first birthday in our new home.  Seven years later, the house is dented and dinged and Sidney is a bright, beautiful little girl.

This is a girl who knows what she wants and will stop at nothing until she gets it.  Exactly how she wants it. 

She is an avid Wheel of Fortune watcher and insisted on a Wheel of Fortune birthday party.  That is what she shall have.  The focal point of this party will be her cake. 

I've done much research online - looking at cakes, pictures of the Wheel set, determining what is doable and what requires more planning than I have time.  I arrived at what I thought was simple, yet cool.  Effective yet creative.  I cut and glued pictures to a piece of paper laying out each item and documenting "do's" and "don'ts" for this very special cake.  I handed the storyboard over to Aaron to take to The Cake Lady.  Yes, that's her name, The Cake Lady.

After he delivered the drawing I checked in with him to see what her thoughts were on the design.  What he said didn't leave me extremely confident that Sidney would find this cake to be all she hoped it would be.  He said and I quote, "she'll do the best she can."  What?!  What does that mean?  She'll do the best she can?  How about, "I'm totally going to rock this cake.  Pat & Vanna's set can't compare to this cake."  ...No, rather I got a 'best I can do' comment.  Swell!

I get it from a selling perspective.  Underpromise and overdeliver is far better than the alternative scenario.  But, for the record, this cake better rock it!  ...stay tuned for pictures to follow!

Smarties

No, not the candy...my kids. 

In my previous post I wrote about the game that I created on the fly to keep the kids from picking each other to pieces and from make us crazy!  This game was quite a success.

We went back and forth with gaining and losing points.  Only once did Ashton drop below the baseline of 10 points to 9 and after he stopped crying because he lost them, he listened intently to learn how to redeem more.  All in all this point system worked well.  There was only one catch.  It was used against me.

After driving for several hours on the way home fatigue, boredom and general irritation set in. I am speaking for myself.  Not the kids.

I loathe car rides.  I would rather stick a fork in my eye then sit in a car for hours on end.  I am not a person who enjoys the open road and taking in the scenery.  I much prefer to take it all in from 30,000 feet at take off and descent. 

My exhaustion got the better of me.  That in combination with the chemical that Aaron's brain produces to block out my voice, caused the first series of car-ride arguments to erupt.  Of course the argument was very important--all relating to the time change when we crossed the magical point in Indiana that divides Central Time from Eastern.  Like I said, important stuff. 

As we bantered, we were brought to a halt by a little voice in the back seat stating that we had lost points for fighting.  What???  Lost points? 

Miss Mini-Me was turning the tables on us.  Of course, that stopped the fighting immediately.  The "picking" was replaced with laughter, although she was quite serious.  I am fairly certain that was the last adult argument of the trip.

Touché, my little Smartie Pants... Touché!

Slumber Party Madness

Yesterday Sidney came home with an invitation to a slumber party.  While I am generally more than thrilled to pawn my kids off to someone else, it was not the case this time. 

I don't know the child, although she is in Sidney's class.  Nor do I know the parents.  And, while I am sure that everything is on the "up and up" I can't be certain.  And, since I'm not, she's not going.  The fallout from breaking the news was dramatic to say the least. 

Sidney doesn't understand all of the "what if's" that go along with releasing your child into someone else's care who Mom & Dad don't know. 

I am sure that my parents never went through this scenario with me...back in the good old days (or the 80s as Sidney refers to the "old days") there didn't seem to be as many concerns as there are today.  Maybe because there weren't as many disturbed people out there in the mainstream.  Maybe because there weren't as many news reports and media outlets as there are today.  Maybe because my parents knew all of my friends and their parents because our circles were smaller.  Whatever the reason, life is different now.  Perspective is different.  People are different.

Perhaps one day Sidney will look back on this and think that her parents were crazy for not letting her go to a slumber party.  Or, maybe she'll think her parents cared a lot for her and that while their reasons didn't make sense to her it was peace of mind for them. 

Either way, I'm sure we haven't heard the end of it!

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

3 1/2 Musketeers

The more time that I spend with my mother and Grandie, the more I think back to when I was younger and how our relationship has evolved throughout the years.  ...one day I hope Sidney will look back on the four generations and embrace the value of the sisterhood. 

I have enjoyed the privilege of four generations and Sidney has also been blessed with the depth of a four generation family. 

Many years ago, we would travel to the Monongahela Forest in West Virginia where my Great Grandmother Miller lived.  Often, she, my mother, and Grandie would have "girl time" while cooking, taking a walk, or wading in the Williams River.  There were also times when we would go to the family cabin in Piedmont and as a pint sized little girl, I was never quite able to make it through the walk from the lake up the steep hill that led back to the cabin.  My mom and Grandie would cross their arms and join hands forming what looked like  a basket.  I was carried to the top.  I'm sure they were winded and exhausted by adding a pile of dead weight to an already difficult task.  But, they did it.  Time & time again. 

Life has definitely changed.  We have found ourselves joining hands to carry a number of loads, burdens together.  It's amazing to me as I reminisce about the good old days and how as a little girl I never dreamed that we would come together as such a strong, united front to take on so much.  To cry together.  To laugh so much together.  For now, Sidney serves as a connection to youth.  Seeing life through the eyes innocence and simplicity.  Focusing on the brighter side of things. 

This relationship that spans four generations of women is an amazing one. 

Thankfulness

Through the month of November in observation of Thanksgiving, I exercised what I was thankful for through daily facebook posts. This experience left its mark on me.

I grow very weary of hearing my kids constantly tell me what they want. What they don't have. It gets old. My children, unlike many are very fortunate for all that they have. First and foremost their family who loves them, having all of their needs meant, and most of their wants within reason. Today Sidney said, "I'm sick of walking...I don't want to walk.". ...this all because she wanted her dad to carry her. The 7 year old girl who comes up to her Great Grandie's chin. My response was, "Sidney, be thankful you CAN walk...there are some people who can't.". I know my words did not fall on deaf ears. Typically when I challenge her to think outside of herself she surprises me by doing something benevolent for someone else.

My challenge to Sidney also extends to myself.

It's been so hard lately to acknowledge all of the things to be thankful for when I have been so caught up in my own grief. My sadness. I'm not in any way saying that I should not be grieving...I've suffered a great loss. But, my focus needs to extend past that loss to the many people and things that I have to be thankful for.

Tonight I will go to the Haven. I will see many men and women who will come through the doors with all that they own secured to their back. They are coming for a meal which they could not get through their own resources. They have nothing. Maybe an addiction. Likely a lot of baggage. And probably very little hope.

I will think of that the next time I complain about the weather. My mediocre lunch. Or, what I don't have.

I have a lot. For that I am thankful.

Who's On First?

Sidney had lacrosse practice today and she totally rocked it.  She has mastered cradling with her right hand, has greatly improved cradling with her left had, can scoop like a pro and today learned how to shoot.  Woohoo Sidney!

Sidney running drill

As she was out on there strutting her stuff, I sat on the sidelines fully prepared for another Saturday morning of lacrosse.  For a parent, this consists of sitting on the sidelines with no chairs watching the coaches herd cats.  I came armed today...I brought my iPad.  It's been too long since I had the opportunity to spend quality time with "my" birthday gift.

I got about 2 rounds of Wheel of Fortune in until I was completely distracted by what I will call a conversation that was occurring next to me.  Parents of one of the players were making their custody arrangements and discussing the outstanding child support.  Again, right next to me.  Call me crazy but it seems like there may be a better place to do that...I don't know, the hallway, a classroom, the telephone.  Certainly not next to me and in front of 25 other parents.  ...didn't seem to phase them though.  They both had their calendars out stating their cases for why Wednesday worked better than Thursday.  How the last check was late, what the amount of this check should be.  I was completely uncomfortable being in ear-shot of this conversation let alone sitting right next to it.  This went on for about 15 minutes but felt like an eternity. 

Happy that conversation came to an end, I returned to my game...for about five minutes.  The mother on the other side of me starting critiquing the organizational skills (or lack thereof) of the coach.  I smiled, nodded my head...tried to keep playing.  That didn't work out so well.  She was insistent that there was a better way to conduct this practice, a way that the younger/smaller children could be more engaged.  "Yes, I understand your point.  The bigger kids are at a different skill set than the younger ones, but they can learn from the older ones, so I get why he is pairing them together."  I suppose that my response fell on deaf ears as she continued to beat the dead horse.  I managed to end the conversation...aka:  griping session.  "Well, I certainly wouldn't be willing to give up my Saturday mornings to teach 1st through 4th graders lacrosse, so from where I am sitting, he's doing an okay job." 

The moral of the story is that I will pick my spot on the floor next Saturday after all of the parents have found their place first. 

Cradle

This cradle is not your "Rock A Bye Baby" variety.  This one is much more interesting.  It's the lacrosse cradle.  A craft that must be mastered in order to effectively play the game of lacrosse.  A skill that is the most difficult to learn. 

Until Saturday, I had no idea what cradling was.  I learned quickly.  Sidney started her first day at lacrosse skills camp and this was one of the skills that was introduced.  Apparently its important.  The coach asked that the parents stay to watch a video on the art of cradling.  This is serious business. 

Cradling How-To

The kids were briefly shown how to hold their stick and then asked to mimic their coach's technique.  I can tell you that there were balls flying out of the nets, rolling across the floor and kids running like ants toward a pile of sugar.  It was crazy.  My daughter--the consummate perfectionist--was visibly agitated at her inability to master the cradle on the first shot.  My first instinct was to hop off the stage, on to the floor and give her the "what for" in light of her poor attitude.  I refrained. 

For a brief moment I was able to talk to her and all I could say was "stick with it, you're doing great."  It was obvious that my encouragement had fallen on deaf ears.  She could not see past her perceived shortcoming to see that every other child on the court was struggling with the same thing she was. 

After practice on our walk to the car I asked her if she enjoyed her first day at lacrosse.  Her simple response was "no."  When I asked her why her answer was "because I don't."  I didn't pursue it.  I knew why she didn't like it. 

My mission became to understand the cradle so I could teach her how to hone her skill.  I watched a video (that's right...I got on YouTube and watched a "how to"), consulted with Aaron and together we learned how to cradle.  We were able to teach her pretty quickly and rebuilt her confidence within a matter of minutes.

"Sidney, do you like lacrosse?"  "Yes, I love it.  It is so much fun!"

Eavesdropping

This is not something that I make a habit of doing.  But, I couldn't resist this morning.

As I was tip-toeing down the steps with anticipation of finding the kids tossing the remnants of their half-eaten breakfast in the trash, I was surprised to hear a conversation occurring in the kitchen.  Not a fight.  Not Sidney giving Ashton his daily marching orders.  A real conversation!

I stood in the hallway listening carefully to these two little people discussing Sidney's upcoming surgery.  The content of the conversation was as nearly as interesting to me as the fact that they were communicating without raising their voices.

Ashton is our resident expert (at the ripe old age of 4) of surgeries and procedures.  Sidney knows this.  And finally, Ashton finds himself in a position to be valued by his big sister...rather than ordered to do something. 

The tables have turned--as temporary as it might be.

She was enlisting his input of what flavors of Gatorade he got to have before and after surgery so she could compare and contrast what she was choosing.  The most comical part of the conversation was when they were discussing what scent of gas she should get.  That's right, anesthesia.  He had the pink lemonade scent last month and she wanted to know if it was "good."  I had to cover my mouth and muffle my laughter as to not give away my position in the hallway.

These little minds at work simply amaze me.

But, all good things must come to an end.  A dispute ensued whether or not Ashton really had strawberry Gatorade. 

It was fun while it lasted.

Mathematician

Math is certainly not an area of study or practice that I ever cared for.  Nor do I now.  It's not that I can't do it, or I don't get it.  It's that I don't want to do it.  Now, we're not talking adding and subtracting here or multiplication and division.  Proofs, theorems, algebra, calculus...not my cup of tea.  So much so that I took Logic & Philosophy in college to fulfill my math requirements. 

Much to my excitement and amazement, my daughter is nothing like me in this area.  She's likes math.  She really does!

She recently passed Principal's Math Club, Division.  This is the last portion of Principal's Math Club that she has to pass in order to be invited to the end of the year "smart kids" party.  She did it.  She did it quickly.  She did it with determination. 

Sidney is a perfectionist--a trait I had hoped to not pass along to my children.  Unfortunately for her, she inherited the perfect gene. 

Principal's Math Club is something that we have heard about day in and day out for months.  It's a timed math test on the internet.  Frankly, that all sounds like a bad idea to me.  Luckily my 7 year old embraces the challenge.  With every section of this second grader's rite of passage achieved, we celebrate.  Whether its a pack of gum or a trip to Dairy Queen it's celebrated.

So whether its the anticipated celebration that comes with these feats or the thrill of the chase, she's mastered math.  For that I am thankful.  And, even though she likes to think that her Dad is from another planet (which I tend to agree with) she's an awful lot like him.