I met with my wish family tonight for dinner. This was the first face-to-face meeting after multiple electronic communications. I assure you there were some nerves on both sides of the table.
This wish is for a 21 year old college junior whose life was interrupted by leukemia. After four non-diagnosis visits finally the news came that she had leukemia. Less than a hour after a doctor visit the phone call came instructing her to go to the hospital immediately. Within hours she was being treated with chemo and subsequently was informed that had she gone undiagnosed and untreated she would have had a maximum of 2 weeks to live. Two weeks.
As she was telling me her story I fought back tears. I listened intently. I admired her strength. I empathized with her mother. Beyond the story of this young woman's battle with leukemia, was her underlying story - her will to live.
There was never a moment that she uttered disgust with her illness going undiagnosed. Never a word about how disappointing it was to lose over a year of her college career. No focus on the 2 years of ongoing treatment that she endured. Rather, she told me how blessed she was. She had the support of her family, her medical team, her friends and her school. She spent the majority of the time talking to me about all of the fantastic people who she met along this journey. How they have inspired her. How she became stronger as a result of it all. She shared information about survivor retreats that she found to be encouraging and how that may benefit future wish recipients that I work with. She talked about the triathlon she is participating in and raising money for to send another cancer survivor to a survivor retreat. Her focus was not on her illness. She as clearly fueled with the passion of helping others who have and are going through the same thing.
Throughout this conversation her mom would pop in and join for a few moments. She had to work and was waiting our table so she could be a part of this trip unveiling. As I revealed the details of the trip, the tears were welling in Marisa's mother's eyes. You see, Marisa just had her port removed last week after 2 years of chemo. This along with a trip to the Florida Keys signified a new beginning. New memories. A bright future. Mom kept telling me that this was "too much." "It's too much. That is so much money. It's too much. You have no idea what it means to us." By this point the tears had erupted from everyone at the table. It's not too much. In fact, it's not enough. Nothing can erase the time that this illness took away from this family. The damage it did to Marisa's body. The emotional wreckage that was incurred. It's simply a way to celebrate her life and create new memories.
Marisa walked away with a relaxing family vacation this evening. I walked away in awe and admiration.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Expectations
Expectations are a hell of a thing to live up to. Your own. Others'. They can make you feel like you are on top of the world when you meet or exceed them. Or, they can suck you into a self-loathing abyss when you don't quit hit the mark.
On my run Saturday with Jill I had the expectation to run 8 miles. This is always established up-front so you push toward a goal. I can tell you, I did not meet the 8 mile mark. I came up short. The reality of that run was that either allergies or recycled airplane air wreaked havoc on my sinuses - hence making breathing difficult. I just couldn't get enough air. I was completely frustrated as I had to walk throughout the course of that run and with each walk-break becoming more annoyed with myself. I kept apologizing to Jill as she stayed next to me throughout what would become a 10k. Her response was always that it was fine. Not a big deal. Just happy to be spending time together.
Jill's expectation was a bit different than mine - her focus was spending time together. Mine was completing an eight-mile run. Despite the utter frustration associated with my lack of performance, I walked away from that experience thinking that I really just need to set the expectation that I'm spending time with my friends and getting a decent work-out as a fringe benefit. Maybe, just maybe, setting a lighter expectation will yield a more impressive result.
On my run Saturday with Jill I had the expectation to run 8 miles. This is always established up-front so you push toward a goal. I can tell you, I did not meet the 8 mile mark. I came up short. The reality of that run was that either allergies or recycled airplane air wreaked havoc on my sinuses - hence making breathing difficult. I just couldn't get enough air. I was completely frustrated as I had to walk throughout the course of that run and with each walk-break becoming more annoyed with myself. I kept apologizing to Jill as she stayed next to me throughout what would become a 10k. Her response was always that it was fine. Not a big deal. Just happy to be spending time together.
Jill's expectation was a bit different than mine - her focus was spending time together. Mine was completing an eight-mile run. Despite the utter frustration associated with my lack of performance, I walked away from that experience thinking that I really just need to set the expectation that I'm spending time with my friends and getting a decent work-out as a fringe benefit. Maybe, just maybe, setting a lighter expectation will yield a more impressive result.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Apples + Trees
How does that saying go - "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Indeed, I have found this to be true with my two "apples." Their sharp minds and quick wit never cease to amaze me. And, it typically tends to amuse me.
Apparently there is no such thing as aging gracefully - not in this house.
Sidney: "Mommy, what are those lines by Daddy's eyes when he laughs?"
Me: The lines by his eyes?
Sidney: "Yea, you know...when he smiles or laughs they show up here." (she points to the outside of her eyes as she squints and smiles in the mirror to demonstrate.)
Me: Ahh, those. We call those crow's feet, Sidney.
Sidney: "Daddy sure has a lot of 'the' crow's feet on his face. And you have a few too."
Me: Top of the morning to you too, Sidney.
My words are used against my by my little man...say it ain't so!
Ashton: "Mommy, will you get me some peanut butter?"
Me: No. I'm busy doing your laundry. Would you like to do your laundry while I get your peanut butter?
Ashton: "No, Mommy."
With a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face he says, "I'm just a baby, Mommy. We don't do laundry."
Me: Touche. But, you're getting your own peanut butter.
Funny how these kids have become such smart asses at such a young age. I'll take it though. My spirited children.
Apparently there is no such thing as aging gracefully - not in this house.
Sidney: "Mommy, what are those lines by Daddy's eyes when he laughs?"
Me: The lines by his eyes?
Sidney: "Yea, you know...when he smiles or laughs they show up here." (she points to the outside of her eyes as she squints and smiles in the mirror to demonstrate.)
Me: Ahh, those. We call those crow's feet, Sidney.
Sidney: "Daddy sure has a lot of 'the' crow's feet on his face. And you have a few too."
Me: Top of the morning to you too, Sidney.
My words are used against my by my little man...say it ain't so!
Ashton: "Mommy, will you get me some peanut butter?"
Me: No. I'm busy doing your laundry. Would you like to do your laundry while I get your peanut butter?
Ashton: "No, Mommy."
With a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face he says, "I'm just a baby, Mommy. We don't do laundry."
Me: Touche. But, you're getting your own peanut butter.
Funny how these kids have become such smart asses at such a young age. I'll take it though. My spirited children.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Pop Quiz
I was putting Ashton to bed and as I began to walk out the door, the
quiz began. "Mommy, where did I get 'Roar'?" Roar is a dinosaur with a
highly imaginative name. "You got Roar from Disney, Buddy. The T-Rex
Cafe." "Oh, that's right. I forgot." I'm not completely convinced that
he forgot, but I saw an opening with the quiz game, so I decided to
seize the moment.
"Ashton, do you remember where you got 'Baby'?" He looks at me and shakes his head no. Baby is a Ty Beanie Baby sea otter that rests safely under Ashton's chin every night. Every night. "You got him from the hospital when you had to have your tubes put in your ears." The light bulb pops on. "Oh, that's right...I got him from the hospital when I had to wear tiger pajamas." This is something that he doesn't actually remember, but rather visits through a photo that I have of him in said PJ's in the waiting room of Children's Hospital.
Round two for Mom...and this one is important. I truly had a sensation of butterflies before I asked the question for fear that he wouldn't remember. And not remembering is not an option - he simply must remember. This is a crucial question. "Buddy, do you remember who got you Froggy?" Froggy is a stuffed treasure who lies on Ashton's right ear each night. A smile cracks from each corner of his mouth and he rolls his eyes. "Yes, Mommy...Granddad got me Froggy when I was a baby." A sigh of relief. "Yes, Ashy, Granddad got you Froggy. Do you know why he got you Froggy?" He shakes his head no, but is clearly interested in an explanation. "When you were still a baby in Mommy's belly we told Granddad your name would be Ashton William Daniel. Do you know what Granddad's name is, Buddy?" Again he shakes his head but is filled with curiosity. "His name is William. Just like you - it's William." The smile breaks across his face and his eyes glimmer as he realizes that he is named after someone. His Granddad. This man who loved Ashton more than life itself.
He remembers.
"Ashton, do you remember where you got 'Baby'?" He looks at me and shakes his head no. Baby is a Ty Beanie Baby sea otter that rests safely under Ashton's chin every night. Every night. "You got him from the hospital when you had to have your tubes put in your ears." The light bulb pops on. "Oh, that's right...I got him from the hospital when I had to wear tiger pajamas." This is something that he doesn't actually remember, but rather visits through a photo that I have of him in said PJ's in the waiting room of Children's Hospital.
Round two for Mom...and this one is important. I truly had a sensation of butterflies before I asked the question for fear that he wouldn't remember. And not remembering is not an option - he simply must remember. This is a crucial question. "Buddy, do you remember who got you Froggy?" Froggy is a stuffed treasure who lies on Ashton's right ear each night. A smile cracks from each corner of his mouth and he rolls his eyes. "Yes, Mommy...Granddad got me Froggy when I was a baby." A sigh of relief. "Yes, Ashy, Granddad got you Froggy. Do you know why he got you Froggy?" He shakes his head no, but is clearly interested in an explanation. "When you were still a baby in Mommy's belly we told Granddad your name would be Ashton William Daniel. Do you know what Granddad's name is, Buddy?" Again he shakes his head but is filled with curiosity. "His name is William. Just like you - it's William." The smile breaks across his face and his eyes glimmer as he realizes that he is named after someone. His Granddad. This man who loved Ashton more than life itself.
He remembers.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Good for the soul
In less than one week's time I have witnessed some true acts of kindness. All unexpected. None wishing to be recognized.
...Uncle Fred...
He lost his incredible wife - my aunt, my godmother - to cancer two years ago. It was devastating for him. For his family. He has been living in deep grief. Stark darkness. A week ago I told him about a little girl named Corina who is 13 and losing her battle to ovarian cancer. Her wish...to see the ocean. He rents a condo at the beach for a few months out of the year - arguably to lose himself, to find himself and to reconnect with my Aunt. He offered me his condo for a week or a month - whatever she needed and wanted. This child will likely not live through the month of April and it was questionable if she would even make it through the week at the beach as she is utilizing hospice at her vacation destination. He made her wish come true. Her family will have a final, happy memory as a family together. In the midst of darkness he provided a beacon of serenity.
...Sidney...
My competitive first born is not easily talked off the wall when it comes to anything that she perceives as competition. Easter egg hunts are no exclusion. Sunday we were lucky enough to partake in an Easter extravaganza hosted by a Wishes Can Happen board member. This party was grand and it was a fantastic gathering of board members, volunteers and wish families. Wish families is the key term here. We aren't talking about a host of healthy, fully functional children. We are talking about kids who have been to hell and back at a minimum of one time - if they are lucky. A child who I had the great privilege of granting a wish for was present with her mom and siblings at this event. Sidney immediately took a liking to her. Little Brooke is such a sweet child. Looks fragile, but is obviously quite tenacious to battle Chiari Malformation. She is suited up with a neck brace. Forbidden to run. Bounce. Jump. Jostle. She's 6 and restricted for her own health and safety. Sidney took Brooke by the hand in the midst of 100 children and started exploring the 5 acre property in search of eggs. Her first concern was that Brooke's bag was filled. That she got what she needed. That she had a friend to do it with. Sidney loved this experience - she felt purpose and it filled her heart. Certainly mine.
...Random Stranger...
I forgot my lunch today so I trekked down the street to Subway. I was in line behind a couple of guys - one looked pretty worn, but I thought nothing of it. I was becoming frustrated, however, because I just wanted my six inch turkey and to get out the door and it seemed as if the man in front of me had never visited a restaurant before. He had no idea how to order. How the line worked. What to ask for. I kept thinking to myself, "this isn't hard...just pick your toppings and go." The man in front of him tried to guide him through the process, but didn't seem to full grasp that this man really had no idea. After I quit thinking about time and processed the situation it was clear. This worn & torn man was homeless. He had a tattered bag that I typically see tossed over the shoulder of the homeless at the Haven. The man in front of him was buying him lunch. He picked up the tab and handed the homeless man his bag and we all walked out the door. The business man went one direction. The homeless man the other. And, I stood in awe completely sobered.
These things have done wonders for my soul and for my spirit. I hope you experience even a shred of it.
...Uncle Fred...
He lost his incredible wife - my aunt, my godmother - to cancer two years ago. It was devastating for him. For his family. He has been living in deep grief. Stark darkness. A week ago I told him about a little girl named Corina who is 13 and losing her battle to ovarian cancer. Her wish...to see the ocean. He rents a condo at the beach for a few months out of the year - arguably to lose himself, to find himself and to reconnect with my Aunt. He offered me his condo for a week or a month - whatever she needed and wanted. This child will likely not live through the month of April and it was questionable if she would even make it through the week at the beach as she is utilizing hospice at her vacation destination. He made her wish come true. Her family will have a final, happy memory as a family together. In the midst of darkness he provided a beacon of serenity.
...Sidney...
My competitive first born is not easily talked off the wall when it comes to anything that she perceives as competition. Easter egg hunts are no exclusion. Sunday we were lucky enough to partake in an Easter extravaganza hosted by a Wishes Can Happen board member. This party was grand and it was a fantastic gathering of board members, volunteers and wish families. Wish families is the key term here. We aren't talking about a host of healthy, fully functional children. We are talking about kids who have been to hell and back at a minimum of one time - if they are lucky. A child who I had the great privilege of granting a wish for was present with her mom and siblings at this event. Sidney immediately took a liking to her. Little Brooke is such a sweet child. Looks fragile, but is obviously quite tenacious to battle Chiari Malformation. She is suited up with a neck brace. Forbidden to run. Bounce. Jump. Jostle. She's 6 and restricted for her own health and safety. Sidney took Brooke by the hand in the midst of 100 children and started exploring the 5 acre property in search of eggs. Her first concern was that Brooke's bag was filled. That she got what she needed. That she had a friend to do it with. Sidney loved this experience - she felt purpose and it filled her heart. Certainly mine.
...Random Stranger...
I forgot my lunch today so I trekked down the street to Subway. I was in line behind a couple of guys - one looked pretty worn, but I thought nothing of it. I was becoming frustrated, however, because I just wanted my six inch turkey and to get out the door and it seemed as if the man in front of me had never visited a restaurant before. He had no idea how to order. How the line worked. What to ask for. I kept thinking to myself, "this isn't hard...just pick your toppings and go." The man in front of him tried to guide him through the process, but didn't seem to full grasp that this man really had no idea. After I quit thinking about time and processed the situation it was clear. This worn & torn man was homeless. He had a tattered bag that I typically see tossed over the shoulder of the homeless at the Haven. The man in front of him was buying him lunch. He picked up the tab and handed the homeless man his bag and we all walked out the door. The business man went one direction. The homeless man the other. And, I stood in awe completely sobered.
These things have done wonders for my soul and for my spirit. I hope you experience even a shred of it.
 |
| Sidney + Brooke |
Monday, March 19, 2012
Love Notes
Remember the good old days when you used to write a love note to someone you liked? Typically there was a "check the box" call to action included in said note that would let you know where you stood. This morning, I found a love note in Ashton's locker.
Raw version...
Halle love Ashton
Halle love Ashton
Sorry Ashton but you hv to miare Halle
Translated version....
Halle loves Ashton
Halle loves Ashton
Sorry Ashton but you have to marry Halle.
I love how this love note serves many purposes. Love note. Apology. Edict. Sounds a lot like a real relationship, doesn't it?
Raw version...
Halle love Ashton
Halle love Ashton
Sorry Ashton but you hv to miare Halle
Translated version....
Halle loves Ashton
Halle loves Ashton
Sorry Ashton but you have to marry Halle.
I love how this love note serves many purposes. Love note. Apology. Edict. Sounds a lot like a real relationship, doesn't it?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Kids These Days...
Every now and again, Sidney gives me an abrupt reminder what a time warp I live in. This usually occurs in the car when we are listening to XM. 80's on 8, 90's on 9. This is what good music is! She very outspokenly disagrees. I believe her exact words were, "well if this was good music when you were growing up, then I am sorry for you." Yes, thank you, Sidney.
It's fairly amusing how different things are now then when I was a kid... Back in the day (the 80s as Sidney refers to it) our pranks were toilet papering peoples house, applying a single layer of plastic wrap to some unsuspecting parent's toilet seat and putting a friend's hand in warm water to get them to pee themselves if they fell asleep first at a sleep-over. Our music artists of choice were Madonna, Cyndi Lauper and Debbie Gibson (for good measure). Candy was awesome - real sugar and lots of it. Remember the wax candy that was absolutely tasteless, but you just had to buy it for the pop-like substance inside of the wax soda bottle? Pure bliss.
I took a walk down memory lane this weekend as Sidney and her friend Sydnie went to a roller skating party and then returned to our home to play for the rest of the day. It also led me to do a comparison of then versus now as Sidney utilized Apple TV to play her tunes from her iPod through the TV. Pink, Bieber and Katy Perry were among the artist these girls were cutting a rug to. Arguably, the two female artists have some riskee lyrics - kind of like Madonna back in the day. We certainly keep those songs to a minimum but I'm certain that nothing she listens to is as suggestive as "Like a Virgin."
The girls had plenty of energy for their dance party because they brought home goodie bags full of loot - and in their case, candy. When dinosaurs roamed the earth and I went to friends' birthday parties, I took them a gift. They certainly didn't send me home with a $10 party favor. Times have changed and so has candy. Out of the bag came an Icee shaped aerosol bottle that sprayed liquid sugar. Yes, you read that right - spray liquid crack right into your mouth! Completely nuts! I'm sure it tasted better than my wax soda bottles and I'm not sure why I think that Sidney's party favor is any more appalling than my wax candy. But, it is. It just seems wrong.
And, what gathering would be complete without some type of prank? Clearly these two were cracked out on liquid sugar, cake, ice cream, pop and whatever else they were fed at the party...why not do something "funny" to the old people?! Prank of the day was creating a password for dear old Mom's iPad and locking her out. Funny, right? Yea, not so much. Somehow it seems more appropriate to Saran Wrap a toilet seat and let someone pee all over the floor - I mean bleach is relatively inexpensive and after all that's a real hoot, right? My mother (who this did happen to) would beg to differ.
I guess as much as things change, they really stay the same.
It's fairly amusing how different things are now then when I was a kid... Back in the day (the 80s as Sidney refers to it) our pranks were toilet papering peoples house, applying a single layer of plastic wrap to some unsuspecting parent's toilet seat and putting a friend's hand in warm water to get them to pee themselves if they fell asleep first at a sleep-over. Our music artists of choice were Madonna, Cyndi Lauper and Debbie Gibson (for good measure). Candy was awesome - real sugar and lots of it. Remember the wax candy that was absolutely tasteless, but you just had to buy it for the pop-like substance inside of the wax soda bottle? Pure bliss.
I took a walk down memory lane this weekend as Sidney and her friend Sydnie went to a roller skating party and then returned to our home to play for the rest of the day. It also led me to do a comparison of then versus now as Sidney utilized Apple TV to play her tunes from her iPod through the TV. Pink, Bieber and Katy Perry were among the artist these girls were cutting a rug to. Arguably, the two female artists have some riskee lyrics - kind of like Madonna back in the day. We certainly keep those songs to a minimum but I'm certain that nothing she listens to is as suggestive as "Like a Virgin."
The girls had plenty of energy for their dance party because they brought home goodie bags full of loot - and in their case, candy. When dinosaurs roamed the earth and I went to friends' birthday parties, I took them a gift. They certainly didn't send me home with a $10 party favor. Times have changed and so has candy. Out of the bag came an Icee shaped aerosol bottle that sprayed liquid sugar. Yes, you read that right - spray liquid crack right into your mouth! Completely nuts! I'm sure it tasted better than my wax soda bottles and I'm not sure why I think that Sidney's party favor is any more appalling than my wax candy. But, it is. It just seems wrong.
And, what gathering would be complete without some type of prank? Clearly these two were cracked out on liquid sugar, cake, ice cream, pop and whatever else they were fed at the party...why not do something "funny" to the old people?! Prank of the day was creating a password for dear old Mom's iPad and locking her out. Funny, right? Yea, not so much. Somehow it seems more appropriate to Saran Wrap a toilet seat and let someone pee all over the floor - I mean bleach is relatively inexpensive and after all that's a real hoot, right? My mother (who this did happen to) would beg to differ.
I guess as much as things change, they really stay the same.
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