Good for the soul

In less than one week's time I have witnessed some true acts of kindness. All unexpected. None wishing to be recognized.

...Uncle Fred...
He lost his incredible wife - my aunt, my godmother - to cancer two years ago. It was devastating for him. For his family. He has been living in deep grief. Stark darkness. A week ago I told him about a little girl named Corina who is 13 and losing her battle to ovarian cancer. Her wish...to see the ocean. He rents a condo at the beach for a few months out of the year - arguably to lose himself, to find himself and to reconnect with my Aunt. He offered me his condo for a week or a month - whatever she needed and wanted. This child will likely not live through the month of April and it was questionable if she would even make it through the week at the beach as she is utilizing hospice at her vacation destination. He made her wish come true. Her family will have a final, happy memory as a family together. In the midst of darkness he provided a beacon of serenity.

...Sidney...
My competitive first born is not easily talked off the wall when it comes to anything that she perceives as competition. Easter egg hunts are no exclusion. Sunday we were lucky enough to partake in an Easter extravaganza hosted by a Wishes Can Happen board member. This party was grand and it was a fantastic gathering of board members, volunteers and wish families. Wish families is the key term here. We aren't talking about a host of healthy, fully functional children. We are talking about kids who have been to hell and back at a minimum of one time - if they are lucky. A child who I had the great privilege of granting a wish for was present with her mom and siblings at this event. Sidney immediately took a liking to her. Little Brooke is such a sweet child. Looks fragile, but is obviously quite tenacious to battle Chiari Malformation. She is suited up with a neck brace. Forbidden to run. Bounce. Jump. Jostle. She's 6 and restricted for her own health and safety. Sidney took Brooke by the hand in the midst of 100 children and started exploring the 5 acre property in search of eggs. Her first concern was that Brooke's bag was filled. That she got what she needed. That she had a friend to do it with. Sidney loved this experience - she felt purpose and it filled her heart. Certainly mine.

...Random Stranger...
I forgot my lunch today so I trekked down the street to Subway. I was in line behind a couple of guys - one looked pretty worn, but I thought nothing of it. I was becoming frustrated, however, because I just wanted my six inch turkey and to get out the door and it seemed as if the man in front of me had never visited a restaurant before. He had no idea how to order. How the line worked. What to ask for. I kept thinking to myself, "this isn't hard...just pick your toppings and go." The man in front of him tried to guide him through the process, but didn't seem to full grasp that this man really had no idea. After I quit thinking about time and processed the situation it was clear. This worn & torn man was homeless. He had a tattered bag that I typically see tossed over the shoulder of the homeless at the Haven. The man in front of him was buying him lunch. He picked up the tab and handed the homeless man his bag and we all walked out the door. The business man went one direction. The homeless man the other. And, I stood in awe completely sobered.

These things have done wonders for my soul and for my spirit. I hope you experience even a shred of it.

Sidney + Brooke

Love Notes

Remember the good old days when you used to write a love note to someone you liked? Typically there was a "check the box" call to action included in said note that would let you know where you stood. This morning, I found a love note in Ashton's locker.

Raw version...
Halle love Ashton
Halle love Ashton
Sorry Ashton but you hv to miare Halle

Translated version....
Halle loves Ashton
Halle loves Ashton
Sorry Ashton but you have to marry Halle.

I love how this love note serves many purposes. Love note. Apology. Edict. Sounds a lot like a real relationship, doesn't it?

Kids These Days...

Every now and again, Sidney gives me an abrupt reminder what a time warp I live in. This usually occurs in the car when we are listening to XM. 80's on 8, 90's on 9. This is what good music is! She very outspokenly disagrees. I believe her exact words were, "well if this was good music when you were growing up, then I am sorry for you." Yes, thank you, Sidney.

It's fairly amusing how different things are now then when I was a kid... Back in the day (the 80s as Sidney refers to it) our pranks were toilet papering peoples house, applying a single layer of plastic wrap to some unsuspecting parent's toilet seat and putting a friend's hand in warm water to get them to pee themselves if they fell asleep first at a sleep-over. Our music artists of choice were Madonna, Cyndi Lauper and Debbie Gibson (for good measure). Candy was awesome - real sugar and lots of it. Remember the wax candy that was absolutely tasteless, but you just had to buy it for the pop-like substance inside of the wax soda bottle? Pure bliss.

I took a walk down memory lane this weekend as Sidney and her friend Sydnie went to a roller skating party and then returned to our home to play for the rest of the day. It also led me to do a comparison of then versus now as Sidney utilized Apple TV to play her tunes from her iPod through the TV. Pink, Bieber and Katy Perry were among the artist these girls were cutting a rug to. Arguably, the two female artists have some riskee lyrics - kind of like Madonna back in the day. We certainly keep those songs to a minimum but I'm certain that nothing she listens to is as suggestive as "Like a Virgin."

The girls had plenty of energy for their dance party because they brought home goodie bags full of loot - and in their case, candy. When dinosaurs roamed the earth and I went to friends' birthday parties, I took them a gift. They certainly didn't send me home with a $10 party favor. Times have changed and so has candy. Out of the bag came an Icee shaped aerosol bottle that sprayed liquid sugar. Yes, you read that right - spray liquid crack right into your mouth! Completely nuts! I'm sure it tasted better than my wax soda bottles and I'm not sure why I think that Sidney's party favor is any more appalling than my wax candy. But, it is. It just seems wrong.

And, what gathering would be complete without some type of prank? Clearly these two were cracked out on liquid sugar, cake, ice cream, pop and whatever else they were fed at the party...why not do something "funny" to the old people?! Prank of the day was creating a password for dear old Mom's iPad and locking her out. Funny, right? Yea, not so much. Somehow it seems more appropriate to Saran Wrap a toilet seat and let someone pee all over the floor - I mean bleach is relatively inexpensive and after all that's a real hoot, right? My mother (who this did happen to) would beg to differ.

I guess as much as things change, they really stay the same.

A Year Marks the Spot

One year ago today...around this very time of evening, I was at the bedside of my Granddad saying my final goodbyes. Alongside of my brother, sister in law, cousin, mom and Grandie the pain of loss was the air we were breathing. I have never felt pain so deep. So profound. It was only a matter of hours before he traded this world for a perfect body in eternity. Heaven gained an angel the morning of February 3, 2011.

One year later I am left to reflect.

The pain isn't gone. Some days it is more dull than others. The absence of my Granddad is felt week in and week out. My mind has fully accepted that he is gone. My heart is not quite there yet. When you have lived a life as my Granddad has, when you have left a legacy of honor, integrity and love as he did - it makes it very difficult for those left behind to let go.

Granddad was an incredible man. I remember him today. Everyday.

A Tribute to My Granddad - February 8, 2011:

We are here today to honor the memory of William “Bill” Chipps and to celebrate his life.  He was a devoted husband.  A loving father.  An exceptional Granddad.  A doting Great Granddad.  Wonderful Uncle & loyal friend.  He enjoyed ninety years of life, sixty four years of marriage to Miriam, two children, four grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.  He lived his life surrounded by those he loved and many who loved him.  

Bill enjoyed working with his hands.  He could often be found fixing something that was broken—or doing maintenance so that it wouldn’t break.  He offered his expertise to his church, his family, his friends.  There was no challenge that he met that could not be fixed.  He often went to sleep with the problem in mind, and awoke in the morning with the solution.

He always was very active and loved to woodwork, fish, golf, bowl, travel and spend time at his cabin in Piedmont.  Many friends and family members participated in friendly competition with Bill either on the golf course or at the bowling alley.  We enjoyed many trips creating life-long memories with Bill.  Be it a vacation out West in a converted camper, a jaunt to the beach where we were walked out in the ocean to where the tide breaks to catch a wave or a weekend cruising the lake and fishing in Piedmont.  These are the priceless memories that we will hold, cherish and pass down for days and years to come.  

The Chipps family reunions at Wingfoot Lake were always a highlight of the summer—for all of us.  There was a certain anticipation that came along with every year to see family who had traveled from various parts of the country come together for one day to celebrate one thing—being family.  Whether it was a ride on a paddle boat, playing a game of horseshoes, a friendly game of sand volleyball or whirling on a merry-go-round, Bill ensured that this one day was a memorable one for all who attended.  In families sometimes there is a member who acts as the "glue" that holds the family together.  He was that "glue."

Heritage was also very important to Bill.  Knowing where you came from and how that shaped where you were going was a golden nugget that he passed along to all of us.  If you were willing to sit and listen, he was amenable to share his stories, challenges, triumphs and life lessons with you.  We’ve all learned, benefited and become better people as a result of his life.  His heritage.

For those of us who were lucky enough to be a part of his family, we learned much from him.  He taught us the value of family—relying on each other, helping one another and spending time together.   The value of a hard day’s work and the necessity of rest.  The importance of faith in Christ and involvement in church.   Determination to see something through, start to finish.  Through his demonstration of unconditional love we all became closely entwined with Bill.  He was an extraordinary role model, mentor and encourager.  

 “But though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”  “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain:  for the former things are passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)
We find  peace and solace that “Bill”, “Dad”, “Granddad”, “Great Granddad”, “Uncle Bill” has become whole again and we will see him again one day in Glory.  Until then, we will miss you sorely.   

...these kids...

Sidney and Ashton have their 100th day of school tomorrow. With any important milestone there are, of course, celebrations required. The kids are observing this day in different ways.

Ashton loves jelly beans, so it's only fitting that he utilize this sugary treat to mark the occassion. He created a work of art using 100 jelly beans. The only distinguishable item on the page was a flower carefully crafted from a pile of oversized jelly beans. The other pieces on the page - I'm told - are Aaron holding a sword fighting asteroids falling from the sky. Yea. I don't see it, but I am glad he has a vivid imagination.

Sidney's class is celebrating by dressing like they are 100 years old. Being the peach that she is she walks into my room, enters my closet and says, "Okay, Mom. You have plenty of old lady clothes. What can I borrow?"

Game over, Sidney.

2011 Reflections

Most people look to the new year with resolutions and grandiose ideas of what the new year will bring. I have done that in a slightly different way. I choose to reflect on 2011 so I can apply my learnings to 2012.

2011 certainly has not been all sunshine and lollipops. However, I have learned a lot. For better or worse. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish until death parts us. I've experienced so many things in the past year.

I've learned...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And, when it is our time, it's not a matter of giving up. It's a decision to move on.

I've learned...there is strength in numbers.

I've learned...some relationships are worth some hassle and temporary disappointment. Others are not.

I've learned...even "food poisoning" can be funny in the company of good friends.

I've learned...while I love technology there is such a thing as overload. Sometimes it's beneficial to check the smart phone at the door.

I've learned...I prefer to flip an actual page of a book rather than a virtul one...no matter how good the graphics are.

I've learned...you can find friends in unlikely places.

I've learned...my kids are absolutely hysterical...intentionally and unintentionally.

I've learned...it truly is better to give than to receive.

I've learned...there are actually such things as stupid cats. And, I own one.

I've learned...the depths of love and loss.

I've learned...while time heals, it's never fast enough.

I've learned...that I have acquired a taste for running and can now understand how Forrest Gump became so addicted to it.

I've learned...board games are still relevant. Especially when it is the game "Things" and it's being played with people who share my sense of humor.

I've learned..."stay home days" totally rock and wearing PJ's all day should not be under-valued.

I've gleaned quite a bit from the year. ...here's to a year ahead filled with Sunshine and Lollipops.

Sidneyisms

Sidney just bought a book of animal facts from her school book fair. Apparently this was a good purchase.
Sidney: Did you know that horn toads shoot blood from their eyes? Did you know that flounder have eyes on the side of their heads? Did you know that flies lay up to 250 eggs per day? 
Ashton & I: horrified looks on our faces
...Sidney, the walking encyclopedia.

Sidney has started playing basketball and on game day before I knew what I was saying, I was cheering her on by her nickname. Boo-boo.
Me: Yes, I called you Boo-boo while you were playing basketball.
Sidney: Mom, don't do that again. You're embarrassing. 
...I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it would be this soon!

We were sitting at the dinner table and going through the pile of mail. I opened a card from my Dad that contained "Christmas cash." Sidney's eyes nearly popped out of her head.
Sidney: Mom, what are we going to buy with that money.
Me: We aren't going to buy anything with this money.
Sidney: Dad, you could take this money and buy Mom a real pair of UGGs instead  of the ones you bought her last year that were made in China.
...thank you for the laugh. For allocating my Christmas present to what you think I need. But, most importantly, thank you for the unedited conversation that you bring to the dinner table every night.