Confessional

This morning's lesson in church was on marriage. I'm going into 15 years of marriage this July - so I should know a thing or two about it, right? ....not so much.

In the past few months, I have been working toward renewing my mind and soul. If you are a long-time church-goer you know what that means. If you aren't, it simply means trying to align your life with Christ. Having a Christ-centric life and outlook and thereby realized in thoughts, words and actions. It's life-transforming, I assure you. It's also painful to see how different life could have been if only this commitment occurred long ago. But, you have to start somewhere.

As I said, 14 1/2 years into marriage and I should know the meaning of that - the roles, expectations, the importance and meaning of vows. To some degree, yes, I get it. From a practical, Biblical standpoint, I have not upheld my vows the way that God intended marriage to be. There you go - my confession.

I have been working more and more on what those vows mean and upholding them with Aaron. It wasn't until this morning that I understood or allowed my heart to hear what marriage meant and at it's core - forgiveness. The covenant of marriage, not the contract. The marriage covenant of promises - of things that I promise, that I will do to honor God and my husband. Not a contract or a piece of paper stating that I am contractually bound to a person. But a promise to honor, love, submit and put him above all others.

Something many people know about me is that I am an independent, do what-I-want, when-I-want type of a woman. It's just how I roll. That's okay to some degree, but has no place in a marriage. This is a hard life-lesson for me. Something I have been working on along with forgiveness. My hard heart has gotten in the way many, many, many (did I say many?) times over the past 14+ years. Submission for me meant "doing what I am told" or agreeing to something I may not truly agree with. What I have learned over the past few months is that isn't what it means at all. It means the willingness to make my wants or needs secondary for the betterment of the marriage. To put Aaron's needs above mine. This is something that I do all the time - with virtually everyone - so why not him? The one person who should be my priority has rarely reaped what so many others have associated with me - service.

The point of all of this is to say, being married for over a decade doesn't mean that you're doing it right. I have been fortunate that Aaron has persisted despite a strong-minded wife who became closed-off and hard-hearted for various reasons. I am fortunate for grace and forgiveness even though I have not always offered it freely.

Marriage is tough. It's work. But, once you begin to understand it, it becomes a little easier to navigate and more enjoyable. I guess I will consider myself a slow learner, and thankful that I have an opportunity to move forward - with Christ and with Aaron.

Reflections of 2013

...here it is - finally - the reflections of 2013. Historically, I am anti-resolution. I just don't get the idea of "I resolve to do _________" at the beginning of the year. Why not have an epiphany of something to improve upon and work toward it from that moment? I have had several of those throughout the year and have resolved to work on those in my everyday life.

What 2013 brought to light was....

.....silence can be deafening. Damaging. Counterproductive in some cases.

.....my family is a safe haven. Their presence offers me serenity even in the most chaotic instances.

.....my kids still light me up - every single day. 

....I do not love or even remotely like Sci-Fi or anything that resembles it. I can't even pretend to! I would rather watch an episode of Elmo's World (is that still on?) than Star Trek. 

....my heart is in service, this I know. I will serve in my home, my community and eventually someplace in the world.

....I am not defined by my work or the success or failures that may come alongside of a career. My work is a means to an end, and that end is contributing to a healthy, happy household. 

....my marriage is a partnership rather than a parallel effort. Two on the same team works much better than two separately working toward the same goals.

....I still get a kick out of the word "duty." I will laugh every single time. 

....my friends are invaluable. While they are few in number, they are mighty in support, laughter, love and strength and for this I am grateful.

2013 was okay...benign in some ways, treacherous in others and sprinkled with some good times. 2014 will be great - mark my words. 

#Mayernik40

Today is the fortieth birthday of my very dear friend, Joe. I met Joe a few years back at an advertising conference - on a bus - headed to Downtown Disney. Both of us flying solo. The rest has been history. Orlando, San Diego, Austin, Akron, Phoenix and Rochester have served as our stomping grounds and points of face-to-face reconnection.

It's not often that you meet a person, connect and develop a lasting friendship. I have found that with Joe. An amazing person. A creative mind. A generous heart.

Cheers to you, Joe, on your 40th birthday! May you have many, many more blessed years.

A Wise 7 Year Old

Dinner conversation is ALWAYS the best...everything gets put on the table. Eavesdropping on Sidney and Ashton's conversation was priceless.

Sidney: Mommy bought me bras today when we went shopping.
Ashton: (nods his head)
Sidney: She let me buy padded ones this time.
Ashton: (nods his head)
Sidney: They aren't the big padded ones. They have just a little padding.
Ashton: 'Sinney' (as he calls his sister), you really don't need to tell me this.

Conversation over.

Baby Momma

Sunday afternoon the family ventured to Aurora Farms to make returns, use gift cards and squeeze one more thing into an already jam-packed day.

Everyone got something - consider the day a success. I got a new leather laptop bag and a huge laugh from Wilson's Leather. As I was checking out, Aaron was standing next to me and the kids were touching everything on the counter. I am paying no attention to the cashier other than to transact and get my  two misfits out of the store! When I looked up she looked at me and asked (very sincerely I might add!) "Is your hair naturally blonde?" It threw me for a loop. Um, come again? Blonde? No. You see me standing right in front of you, right? I responded politely and curiously, "No, I am not a blonde...." The next question out of her mouth was the jaw-dropper. "Are those your kids?" Yep, sure are - those are my kids. I promise I didn't find them at a store and shop-lift them out from under their blonde parents! "I was blonde as a child, hence my blonde kids."

People never cease to amaze me. Or, fail to entertain me!

Clutter Equals Imagination

Friday morning I was on a conference call while Ashton was left to his own devices for about 20 minutes. Thank goodness for the mute button! There was a huge eruption of noise coming from the living room while I was battling myself to stay focused to the task at hand. Whatever was going on in there was a lot more interesting than the onslaught of information I was consuming.

I popped into the living room and motioned for Ashton to come get his things and move out to the driveway to wait for the bus. What I found was a floor littered with cars, airplanes, trucks, hex bugs and even one sole superhero - Batman. Surprisingly this didn't send me into an OCD fit with and urge to get it all picked up. Rather, I looked around the room in admiration of Ashton's creativity and big imagination. He's such a bright little mind.

What a great way to start the day. Batman, car races and helicopters - all in the midst of a conference call.

Laughter is Power

Have you ever seen Monsters, Inc.? Crazy looking monsters who capture children's screams at night to power their city? It's a great concept - alternative energy if you will.

A few weeks back, my little clan (my small group of friends) and I ventured to the Vermillion area for another weekend of relaxation, wine drinking and long overdue bonding. Of course, no trip to that region is complete without a stay at The Cabin in the Woods. Our hosts, as always, were gracious and very tolerant. Tolerant of incessant laughing. Laughter of insane magnitude causing side stitches, sore abs and watery eyes.

Upon our departure, Walt our innkeeper and friend, told me that if our laughter could be bottled and used like it was in Monsters, Inc., it could power all of New York City. He meant it with all sincerity and in appreciation of our friendships and intentional endeavor to have fun and kick back.

What he said stuck. Laughter is power. I need to generate more power!