Shortage of Sunshine

Today is a day that I would like to have hit the fast forward button on.  It was full of worry and anticipation and ended with unexpected news.

Granddad's health has taken a nose dive within a 24 hour time span.  I just spent the weekend with my family.  With my grandparents.  With my out of state family.  He had a rough week, but by Sunday he seemed to be somewhat better.  This afternoon I'm told he's incoherent has overly laborious breathing and has been catheterized.  Tomorrow he will likely be moved into the hospice floor of the hospital.

There are so many emotions I have, as does my family.  Too many to try to capture in this post.

My sunshine is scarce today.  My prayer for my family is that joy will come in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Cradle

This cradle is not your "Rock A Bye Baby" variety.  This one is much more interesting.  It's the lacrosse cradle.  A craft that must be mastered in order to effectively play the game of lacrosse.  A skill that is the most difficult to learn. 

Until Saturday, I had no idea what cradling was.  I learned quickly.  Sidney started her first day at lacrosse skills camp and this was one of the skills that was introduced.  Apparently its important.  The coach asked that the parents stay to watch a video on the art of cradling.  This is serious business. 

Cradling How-To

The kids were briefly shown how to hold their stick and then asked to mimic their coach's technique.  I can tell you that there were balls flying out of the nets, rolling across the floor and kids running like ants toward a pile of sugar.  It was crazy.  My daughter--the consummate perfectionist--was visibly agitated at her inability to master the cradle on the first shot.  My first instinct was to hop off the stage, on to the floor and give her the "what for" in light of her poor attitude.  I refrained. 

For a brief moment I was able to talk to her and all I could say was "stick with it, you're doing great."  It was obvious that my encouragement had fallen on deaf ears.  She could not see past her perceived shortcoming to see that every other child on the court was struggling with the same thing she was. 

After practice on our walk to the car I asked her if she enjoyed her first day at lacrosse.  Her simple response was "no."  When I asked her why her answer was "because I don't."  I didn't pursue it.  I knew why she didn't like it. 

My mission became to understand the cradle so I could teach her how to hone her skill.  I watched a video (that's right...I got on YouTube and watched a "how to"), consulted with Aaron and together we learned how to cradle.  We were able to teach her pretty quickly and rebuilt her confidence within a matter of minutes.

"Sidney, do you like lacrosse?"  "Yes, I love it.  It is so much fun!"

Sucking Wind

There's no worse feeling than trying to keep up with your breathing while running.  I got to experience this yesterday when I decided to brave the "dreadmill" again. 

I took a week off while I was sick.  Good for my body and bad for my training. 

I'm back on the horse--hopefully I don't get bucked off!

Sacred

Highly valued.  Important.  These are definitions of the word sacred. 

My quiet time is sacred.  It's also rare.  It's usually spent in my garden tub, lights dimmed, candles lit and bubbles abundant.  My children generally are not permitted to use my tub.  It's my highly valued place where I can be alone and shut out the world.

 Well, it was until yesterday.

Sidney took a bubble bath in my tub (initially unbeknownst to me) to relieve some of her post-op woes.  I'm sure it seemed like a good idea and a nice thing to do for her since she had a miserable evening, but that's a sacred place.  My sacred place.

As I was rinsing off this very soapy and limp child who resembelled a pathetic rag doll, her stomach started to erupt.  "Mommy, my stomach feels bad!"  This sentence was followed with  an all-out gut explosion...all over my sacred place. 

I guess this is why Clorox wipes are made.

Eavesdropping

This is not something that I make a habit of doing.  But, I couldn't resist this morning.

As I was tip-toeing down the steps with anticipation of finding the kids tossing the remnants of their half-eaten breakfast in the trash, I was surprised to hear a conversation occurring in the kitchen.  Not a fight.  Not Sidney giving Ashton his daily marching orders.  A real conversation!

I stood in the hallway listening carefully to these two little people discussing Sidney's upcoming surgery.  The content of the conversation was as nearly as interesting to me as the fact that they were communicating without raising their voices.

Ashton is our resident expert (at the ripe old age of 4) of surgeries and procedures.  Sidney knows this.  And finally, Ashton finds himself in a position to be valued by his big sister...rather than ordered to do something. 

The tables have turned--as temporary as it might be.

She was enlisting his input of what flavors of Gatorade he got to have before and after surgery so she could compare and contrast what she was choosing.  The most comical part of the conversation was when they were discussing what scent of gas she should get.  That's right, anesthesia.  He had the pink lemonade scent last month and she wanted to know if it was "good."  I had to cover my mouth and muffle my laughter as to not give away my position in the hallway.

These little minds at work simply amaze me.

But, all good things must come to an end.  A dispute ensued whether or not Ashton really had strawberry Gatorade. 

It was fun while it lasted.

Life

There are so many quotes associated with the word life.  Life's a beach.  Life sucks.  If life gives your lemons, make lemonade.  ...I can go on & on.

What I know is that life is precious.

I have been reminded of this in various ways through various people--two of which who have impacted me.  One is a Sunday school friend, Tricia, from long ago.  The other is my Grandfather, hereto referred to as Granddad.

What I am not going to do here is go into a dissertation about their stories.  That defeats the purpose of a blog.  What I will do is tell you that their life experiences have influenced my outlook on life.  Indefinitely.

You can read about Tricia's story on her blog:  http://www.teachingtuckandty.blogspot.com/  The month of January will break your heart.  Open your eyes.  Give you perspective.  She lost her husband suddenly just two days before Christmas with two children at home.  Life certainly doesn't seem fair.


My 90 year old Granddad fights for breath everyday.  You see, he has congestive heart failure and is in a terminal stage with it.  There is no getting better.  There is surviving this until it takes him.  That is the reality of the situation.  Assisting in my grandparents estate planning, helping organize Hospice care and watching my husband spend his free time helping them with home improvements to make his care easier are all blaring reminders of what life has become for him. 

Granddad on his 90th birthday along with his 3 great grandchildren

Life is a lot of things.  Mainly it is to be cherished.

Sending My Little Man to "Kindergarten"

Notice how "Kindergarten" is in quotes.  That's because we are sending Ashton to practice Kindergarten in the Fall.

But, please, don't tell Ashton or the school.  The teacher would serve my head up on a platter if she knew that I am thinking this way. 

Ashton's birthday is at the end of August, so he misses the cut-off for entrance to attend public school.  I wish I could say that I was upset about this.  But, the truth be told, I'm not.  I am not ready to put my little blonde bombshell on a school bus and bid him farewell as he enters the school-age era.

He's my baby and certainly kindergarten cannot be a reality for him already.

The wrestling match of "what to do with him" next year came to an end this week.  We are enrolling Ashton in private school.  He needs to be challenged, but isn't ready for the public school experience...yet.  So, come August, my baby will be putting on a uniform and heading to the classroom as a big boy...as a Kindergartener.

It's likely he will repeat kindergarten in 2012 (real kindergarten), so for now, I am referring to this experience as practice kindergarten. 

It will be great practice for both of us!